you know the hardest thing about life is staying on a course set before you. you know what you must do..... there is a need for it but remaining in it is difficult because you just dont seem to know what it is you are to do or what is required of you or worst of all if you are ever needed for the task. funny as it sounds it is actually quite serious. i find it hard to complete something when i start cause all these question pop up and then uncertainty pop up like "peek-a-boo! are you sure thats what you should do?" then i get all confused and discern that i shouldn't go that way and then i get stuck at the cross roads, you see! even you are confused right now probably wondering "whats she on about ?"
i have missed a lot of chances, a lot of opportunities have been lost and once they are gone you never get them back. i never had confidence in myself and my abilities because the support i needed must was given. i am trying very hard to be positive with the life given to me despite all the negativism that have plague me during my younger days. you see i don't know what is required of me i don't know how to approach things the way others do. i am very sensitive i think i have lost my way. i am plagued with uncertainties of what it is i am suppose to do
i find myself apologizing all the time.... my fault my fault my fault but when i come to think of it i am angered at the fact that everything is my fault.... yes i am difficult to get to but it is for a reason.....i am difficult to understand but it is for a reason. life circumstances haven't been good to me so pardon my animosity. i have never really had anyone care much for me or what i like to do so yeah thats about it..... i guess thats why i deviate from time to time from one thing to another..... trying to find my home, my place, my heart. i still haven't found what i am looking for....... have you? blessed are those who have for you shall have peace of mind........ God help me..!
